Since we’ve started this site, I’ve been wanting to do a top ten horror list of the year. Since the gods of technology have cursed me with an unending amount of computer problems and time constraints regarding family members and recent engagements I’ve been unable to update the site as much as I’ve wanted to. But I have a rare minute of downtime, and I’m itchin to post something new so enclosed is a brief list with the top ten horror films I saw in 2009. Hope you enjoy!!

10. Thirst – Park Chan Wook’s off beat vampire tale is more interested in the complex relationship of its main characters then the stagnant rules of the vampire mythos, which makes for a bloodsucker film unlike any other.  Kang-ho Song gives a wonderfully sympathetic and complex performance as a priest who, while undergoing testing to help cure a deadly disease, becomes something similar to a traditional vampire. Ok-bin Kim is equally amazing as the manipulative object of his desire.

9. Shuttle – This realistic and gritty thriller was an unexpected highlight in a mostly drab year of theatrical horror. An amazingly subtle but menacing performance by Tony Curran and some great moments of relatable tension makes this little seen gem a must for genre fans.

8. Martyrs – A bit of a letdown, but still amazing. Overhype ultimately weakened this well directed decent into depravity for me, which was one of the most difficult things that I have ever sat through. However I think the ending causes people to reevaluate their beliefs and talk intelligently about horror, which alone makes it deserve its place on this list. But at the same time an ending alone does not make a whole film and some deeper character development would have shot this one over the top for me.

7. My Bloody Valentine 3D – This movie is just plain over the top fun. It was my first true 3D horror experience and it didn’t let me down. And as a bonus it gave me some more mature characters with real issues that made me care about who got sliced and diced. Also it deserves to be on the list for bringing the immortal Tom Atkins back to the big screen, in the 3rd dimension no less. You could almost feel his ample nose fuzz tickle you while you watched.

6. Coraline – Not since the original “Willy Wonka’s” nightmare inducing oompa loompas has a childhood menace creeped me out so much as “Coraline’s” other mother. A true children’s horror film in the tradition of “Something Wicked This Way Comes” and “Watcher In The Woods”. An amazingly detailed and imaginative world that sucks you in the moment you enter it. Bonus points for great voice work by genre vet Keith David. My vote for the new children’s horror classic to show the young ones.

5.  Last House On The Left – A victim of the remake train that got overlooked in favor of the lesser “Friday The 13th”. ‘LHOTL’ improves on the original wisely by focusing more on the development of the parent characters, and by removing the silly “Smokey And The Bandit” cops. Performances, especially by Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter, greatly improve realism and sympathy for the Collingwoods plight.

4. Zombieland – Kick ass. That’s my description of this hilariously funny gore soaked video game of a movie. Woody Harrelson regains his bad ass hillbilly mantra as the greatest zombie ass stomper since Ashley J. Williams taught us what a “boomstick’ was. Also, buried deep beneath all the popped craniums and severed limbs at its heart “Zland” is actually a pretty warm comedy about what makes a family. Great funny supporting work from Jesse Eisenberg and Emma Stone, whose romantic chemistry, gives the film more depth then it ought to have. All that and big bad Bill Murray makes this one I can’t wait to own!!

3. Trick R’ Treat – Michael Dougherty made an instant every year watch with this EC inspired anthology which takes its structure more from “Pulp Fiction” then “Creepshow”. Terrific performances by the great Dylan Baker and Bryan Cox, who can do more with a wheeze then most actors can with actual dialogue, give the stories depth, but it’s the direction and atmosphere constructed by Dougherty complete with a genuine respect for Halloween and all its traditions and superstitions make this the one I will watch year after year as my Halloween tradition.

2. The House Of The Devil – Strip away all the smoke and mirrors of the modern horror film, insert classic creepy veteran genre actors and one up and coming genre actor, a plucky heroine and slow burn, white knuckle tension and you would have an old school 80’s horror film. Which is exactly what “House Of The Devil” is. If you’re looking for wall to wall gore, quick cuts, tons of people dying, look elsewhere. If you want to watch an expertly directed, acted, and paced slow burn horror film like the ones Ma and Pa used to make go out and find this immediately. 

1. Drag Me To Hell – Like a greatest hits collection from a band that you adore. “Drag Me To Hell” is Sam Rami’s love letter to his “Evil Dead” fan base. One of the most mean spirited, blackly comic, and absolutely absurdly hilarious films you will ever see. This is how to make a modern horror film. Rami uses all the new fangled technical CG mumbo jumbo to craft an older world story of gypsy curses, evil goats, lots of vomit, and misunderstandings. The EC inspired ending is one of the best in years, not to mention that this is the best use of sound in a movie that I have heard in a long time. It was good to have Rami back in good form and in control. Pity that Universal chose to kill the box office of this film in the summer, imaging how amazing this would have been on a big screen at Halloween!!

Honorable Mentions:

Paranormal Activity – Scary, but Mikah was way to much of a douche to sympathize with for this to ever make the list.

Pontypool – A different sort of thinking man’s zombie movie could have done with a little snip at the end to make it tighter. Great performance by veteran Stephen McHattie

Infestation – A wicked little film that might have made the list if I could have seen the uncut version, as it was I only got to see it on sYfY or whatever they’re calling it now. Chris Marquette is hilarious as is the great Ray Wise.

Babysitter Wanted – Again, a nice little slasher with a great twist and another great plucky heroine. Bruce Thomas would be the MVP in this one!!

The Children – Creepy as hell. One of the best killer kid movies I have ever seen. Director Tom Shankland is one to watch for in the future.

Saw 6 – Ironically the best of the Saw films made the least at the box office, and to think I’d written off Jigsaw after part 2. We’ll see what 3D brings next Halloween

That about says it all, I hope you’ve enjoyed this rant as much as I’ve enjoyed doing it. Next year doesn’t seem too promising for theatrical horror. With pretty much just “The Wolfman” and “Legion” coming onto my radar, but I’m sure we’ll get some scrappy Indies on DVD to give the studios “what for”!! Here's to more great horror in the new decade!!